Have you ever felt this way? After 6 years of trying to figure out what is wrong with me, I have decided to donate my body to science and let them figure it out!
“Over the years, I have been the subject of many experimental studies, which have added to my understanding of genetics, diseases, the effects of drugs, and other topics in health and medicine. I have also proved valuable in psychological studies of learning and other mental processes. The historical importance of these studies in scientific research is reflected by the amount of literature on it, roughly 90% more than that on me!” (taken from Wikipedia, with some major modifications in order for the statement to reflect my personal opinion of myself!)
I have found that I differ from “normal” human beings in many ways: they can tolerate exercise, dancing, biking, social occasions where they get all gussied up. Me, even though I’m calm, I cannot tolerate any of that. Isn’t this what they do with rats? Separate the good from the bad, inject some “new” gene, syrum etc, into them and see who lives, who dies or who just evolves!
I have decided that dying a quiet death is not in my future as is living a quiet one. Since 2007 I have tried so many different things, form gluten and starch free diets, elimination of foods to drugs, nutrients, blah, blah, blah! The list goes on.
Lately, because I am so fed up, I have been eating just about everything I haven’t eaten in years. I bought a bullet juicer and have been drinking my meals and eating a sensible diet. I tried to go off my steroids, but that didn’t last too long. Without them I can’t make it through the day. My doc upped my Lortab to 7.5 from the 5s and it helps a little more especially at night.
I started doing therapeutic water exercises three times a week and 10 minute trainer in the mornings. My friend suggested I try Xyngular products, which I have ordered and will begin soon. I am feeling better with just a small amount of discomfort in the sacroiliac and muscle stiffness if I sit for too long.
I am on the last leg of this journey before the dreaded biologic route. I am trying to keep an open mind and trying to hold out some hope that maybe this last ditch effort will help put me into remission, but the stress from this, added to stress from home, I feel like I am loosing the battle.
I try to be grateful daily for the health I do have, the new friends I have made and the decisions I will be making in the next couple of months. Who knows why life gives us what it gives us, I just know that I have this disease for a reason, I just wish I could figure out why!