Ankylosing spondylitis

Be thankful for those whom support you!

Well after the last two days the doc has decided to put me on prednisone daily. I hope it helps and I hope I don’t have any long term side effects that I have read about. But like everyone who is in pain, I just want it to go away. So the question for today is: “how does your significant other, partner, companion deal with your disease? Do they have any compassion for what you are going through?” I think about this question a lot. When someone is sick around me, and I work with a lot of sick people, I try very hard to help them out. I treat them as they were my own family and as the old saying goes “treat them the way I would want to be treated.” People who suffer debilitation from any type of disease, cancer, head injuries etc. put a lot of “unexpected” (because they didn’t sign up for this intentionally) pressure and stress on their loved ones, family and some friends. Some step up to the plate and look at it as challenge, others meanwhile break down and usually end up leaving the relationship. What makes these people so special? I think it’s COMPASSION you either have it or you don’t. My husband is one of the most uncompassionate men on the planet, and this probably is one my lessons to learn in life because of him I feel I am more compassionate than I ever have been and at least my patients get the full benefit. Unfortunately my husbands actions make me more stressed and leads up to depressive states like yesterday. After my depressive day and meltdown my husband looks at me last night and says “bad day?” I say “not good in a lot of pain.” He says ” why are you in pain?” I wanted to burst out into tears. In my husbands mind you should be able to push through the pain and go on doing… He is one individual who has no compassion for what others go through. He has been there through all my bad days and good days and you would think he gets the message that pain hurts! As long as supper is on the table, and I am able to do the things he has planned on the weekends he doesn’t care how I feel. If I wake up and I hurt he gets upset if I can’t “help around the yard” or do something he wants to do. Now mind you when this man gets sick the world has come to an end. He cannot do anything for himself and constantly tells me “you don’t care. Really! Unfortunately for him, his mother did a bad job of raising him. She suffered from rheumatoid arthritis and according to him she was a wonder woman! My opinion is that he never really paid attention to how his mother felt let alone understood what she was really going through. I have gotten to where I try not to look like I’m in pain and that is why I take so many pain killers to get through the day. Don’t get me wrong, except for this flaw of his he is actually ok. But I think that one day karma will come and bite him in the ass and he will have wished he would have had more compassion for me in my times of pain and suffering. So for those of you who have a caring, compassionate companion, love them and thank them daily for what they do willingly to help you get through your rough times. There are those like me who envy you but grateful that there are those compassionate souls out there.

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